I see such a different side of your personalities when you’re together versus one on one. These pictures do a good job at capturing that indescribable vision.
Dear Big Boy,
You did it! 5 days staying dry at night! So proud of you. Night time potty training is hard because you can’t really “train” a physiological process. Your body is either ready or it’s not. We were out of pull-ups and you begged us to let you try wearing underwear to bed. You weren’t ready. It was a LOT of laundry. You agreed to practice with pull-ups for a while longer. If you could keep them dry for 5 days, you got a new superhero. Well buddy, you’re rolling into preschool today with your flashy new Cyborg. You put your leather jacket on and proudly marched into school showing off your toy to your friends and proudly announcing to your teachers how you stayed dry. Also informed them that you’re a big boy and ready to turn 5 and start Kindergarten. I’m so proud of my big boy. I’d be lying if I didn’t say there was more sadness behind my tears than happiness. I’m really missing my little boy this morning.
Every night at dinner, we sit at the table together, all take 1-2 deep breaths and then go around the table sharing something fun from the day. You wanted me to go first tonight –
Dylan: What was something fun in your day mommy?
Mommy: My fun and favorite part of my day was coming home tonight to play with you.
Dylan: Hey! That was my most fun part of the day too!
Mia: I love you mommy
Me: I love you too sweetie
Mia: *while holding my face* You are so pretty mommy. Like a pretty princess.
Me: You are such a pretty princess too sweetie
Mia: I farted mommy
Last week was Thanksgiving. On Thanksgiving day, I woke you up and said, “Guess what! Today is Thanksgiving!” You said, to my surprise, “Yay! Today is the day we are thankful.” *wow*. I said, “YES! What are you thankful for?” What came next has knocked me off my feet for a week now. Without missing a beat you said, not taking even a second to think about it, “I’m thankful for you mommy, for all the love you give me.” Stunned. Floored. You never cease to amaze me. I’m thankful for being your mommy and for all the love you give me back. When Mia woke up, I asked her the same question to which she quickly replied “I’m thankful for Elsa.” I’ll be shopping for 1 pony.
Later that morning, your friend Evie came over and we made “thankful hats” where we write down the things we’re thankful for. In addition to mommy’s love, you also added all your family, swimming with Evie, swinging and my favorite – Gotham City & Metropolis. Who’s not thankful for that?
You also felt very strongly about the turkey we would eat that night. You were adamant that it NOT be a turkey that was a pet, one that ran outside on a farm or was in a cage. You said it had to be a turkey that was a “food turkey.”
Dear Mia Brielle Abram,
Uh oh, mommy is using your full name – that can’t be good.
You are such a spirited child. I love that about you. But when you have a tantrum, that spirit is right there, lock and step with you. Here’s how the morning played out:
Mia – I want cereal soup mommy!
*cereal soup is basically just a mixture of a bunch of different cereals and I throw in some dehydrated fruit as well*
Me – Here you go Mia.
Mia – No mommy, I want red cheerios in my soup.
Me – There are some red cheerios in there, see *points to a red cheerio*
Mia – THAT’S PINK!! *THROWS CEREAL ACROSS THE ROOM AND PROCEEDS TO MELTDOWN*
Diva. Pure diva. After I picked up all the cereal soup (brownie helped) and you stopped screaming, I proceeded to wipe up all the vomit on the floor from your exorcism. You sat on the couch VERY reluctantly eating your redless cereal soup. You can even see a red cheerio in this picture. Diva. Once it seemed like the devil had left your body for the morning for sure, we all proceeded to go to the Simi Valley Touch a Truck event. You were the perfect, charming, entertaining princess. I’ve seen the other side though. I know that sweet smile of yours can rotate 360% around your body while you climb the walls and ceiling. So Mariah Carey, mommy lesson learned, i’ll make sure your dressing room, er, breakfast plate, always has solid red cheerios and not some “clearly” pink shit. Clearly.
Today is 11/9/16. Today is the first day of Donald Trump’s elected 4-year Presidency. A lot of mommy’s, like myself, woke up this morning wondering “what do I say to my kids today?” It’s now 8:12pm and the words are starting to come to me. This is what I have to say to you.
You will encounter many people in your life. Elie Wiesel had said, “There is divine beauty in learning… To learn means to accept the postulate that life did not begin at my birth. Others have been here before me, and I walk in their footsteps. The books I have read were composed by generations of fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, teachers and disciples. I am the sum total of their experiences, their quests. And so are you.” You, and only you, get to choose who you see as a “role model.” If you only surround yourself with like-minded people, you will lack empathy and understanding for what and who is different from you. I’m not saying you need to agree with them. If they firmly believe that 1+1=3, hear them out. What happened in their lives, from their standpoint to believe this? You are at an extreme disadvantage because you will never know what it’s like to walk in someone else’s shoes. You only have 2 feet and 1 life. But if you listen, and open yourself to understanding others and their experiences, your steps through that 1 life will be more solid with more meaning.
After the results were in, Van Jones broke down on CNN and said, “It’s hard to be a parent tonight for a lot of us. You tell your kids, don’t be a bully. You tell your kids, don’t be a bigot. You tell your kids, do your homework and be prepared. Then you have this outcome.” Not all decisions will make sense to you. You will lose jobs to people you feel you are more experienced than. You will be rejected by dates only to see them pick the “bad boy/girl”. You will lose games by calls you think are bad. It’s okay to be sad. It’s okay to be upset. Don’t let it define you or consume you. Remember, you choose. I don’t believe our life is measure by moments, but rather how we respond in these moments. Be gracious, motivated, have convictions but remain open and kind.
There is light in all life’s unfairness. Your Uncle Bruce died way too young. It wasn’t fair. I was angry and sad. Still am. Very much so. It’s been 8 years and I still cry once a week. I’ll never understand why it was him. How everyone dealt with it spoke volumes to me about who I wanted to surround myself with, who I want to be and how I want to move forward. These are some of the most valuable lessons I’ve learned in my adult life that I don’t know if I would have otherwise learned. There is some light – i’d trade that light in a second to get him back. It’s taken me far too long to see it, but there is light and it does guide me.
When everyone else is shouting “yes” and you’re shouting “no” – that does not mean you’re wrong. Different experiences, different upbringing, different ideals, equals different conclusions. But always, do your part and shout. Have an opinion, a voice and always vote. Elie Wiesel also said, “There may be times when we are powerless to prevent injustice, but there must never be a time when we fail to protest.”
Opinions are one thing, but when it comes to how we treat one another, there is no grey – there is a right way and a wrong way. Differences of opinion are one thing – hate is another. Labeling, name calling and belittling is wrong. There is no grey – it is never okay. Words are like toothpaste – once you squeeze them out the tube, it’s really hard to put back. There is no grey. If someone is not treating another right, speak up. Even if that someone is the President. Title is not a defense or a grey area. I repeat, my young ones, title is not a grey area.
Donald Trump is the President of the country. We can respect the decision of the country, of the amazing democratic freedom we have in this country to elect a President collectively. And we can help set him on the right path. 1st, we can graciously accept the decision. We can be sad but we do not need to have a tantrum. 2nd, we can continue to exercise our democratic freedom by voicing what we agree with and what we don’t. 3rd, we can decide what, how and who affects our lives and all humanity. Your role models are not decided for you. You decide who you elect for that responsibility. Everyday, I put myself on that ballot for you both to elect me as a role model. I’m learning, i’m bettering myself and extremely driven to get your vote. If not today, i’ll try again tomorrow my loveys. I’ll never stop having hope or trying for that position.