Today was the first day of school. Today wasn’t supposed to be a big deal for you. The plan, as we understood it, was that you would be continuing in the same Toddler class you had been in since May and once you turned 2 in mid-Sept would then transition to the 2-year old class. No big deal.
We took you into class and noticed that your name wasn’t up on the wall with the other kids. Turns out, you’re getting bumped to the 2-year old class early. It’s only 3 weeks ahead of schedule, this should have been no big deal. To me though – your mommy – this was a big freaking deal. To me, this meant today you stopped being a toddler and started being a big girl. I wasn’t ready. And i’m sorry, I completely lost it and started bawling…in your classroom, on the way out of the school, in the parking lot, in the car, at the Starbucks, back in the car again, at home and throughout the day. And right now. Yes, still crying right now. I can’t stop.
I worried about you more today than I ever have. Probably because I didn’t feel prepared for the moment. Your little besties aren’t transitioning to your class until October/November so I worried that maybe you felt lonely. I didn’t bring any special loveys with you to class today and I worried that maybe you needed some comfort. I didn’t start talking to you at home about your new teachers and friends. You are familiar with the teachers since you see them during after care, but still, I worried. I didn’t pack any special “first day” treats in your lunch and I worried that maybe you didn’t think I understood how big of a deal this was. This is a HUGE deal – you started your 2-year old class today!…
…And you did great. Wonderful, actually. You played, you sang songs, you ate your lunch, you napped and you made friends. And the big one – you became a big girl. Just like that. And mommy became the biggest sap in the neighborhood.