The Kind of Mommy I Want to Be

Dear My Mia,

download (1)My little girl.  I spend a LOT of time thinking about what kind of mommy I want to be to you.  I read a lot of articles and books, constantly search pinterest for activities/crafts/parenting ideas and look at various role models in my life to help me sculpt the kind of mommy I want to be to you.

I don’t want to have the same relationship I have with my mom as you.  I’m not saying it’s a bad relationship, just saying I’d like a different relationship with you.  Different how?  That’s what I spend so much time trying to figure out.  I think i’m almost there.

First, I want you to know – you are the center of my world.  As you get older, you’ll go through various trials and obstacles where you quickly realize the harsh reality that you are not the center of the world.  You’ll fall in and out of love – even when you think you could never love anyone more.  You’ll go through jobs – just when you start to settle into a comfort zone, something will rock your industry forcing you to evolve.  You’ll figure out the world and then refigure it out over and over again.  One thing you can always count on – you are the center of my world.  I want to know about your day.  I want to celebrate you.  Every achievement, every win, every promotion, every happy moment.  I want to get on the floor and play toys with you.  I want to watch the shows you like, split your favorite appetizer with you, listen to the songs you like on the radio.  I’m your biggest fan.  I unconditionally support you and all your ideas and amibitions.  I’ve been in “the world” a few more years than you have and while I might foresee conclusions, i’ll let you draw your own.  You’re a smart girl.  You’ll figure it out.  You’ll succeed and you’ll fall – and I want to hear all about it.

I want you to know that more importantly than loving you, I care about you.  If you’re excited about something, I care.  If you want to tell me the same story 20 times, I want to listen to it 22 times.  There is nothing more interesting.  I have tons of pictures and videos of you and your brother but am missing most of my fondest memories.  Those are the moments I don’t want to be restricted to the lens of the camera, I want to be fully present.

I wanted you in my life so bad and will never take your presence for granted.  My world is only as big as you, your brother and your father.  The brighter you shine, the brighter my world.  I’m still figuring out the kind of mommy I want to be to my one and only little girl but I know that it’s one that shines your light – not dims it.  There is no brighter love my sweet tortilla.

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