Never Misses an Opportunity to Tattle

Dear Babram,

Bedtime is starting to become a process.  A process of pulling out every excuse in the book to not go to sleep.  “Another book please mommy.” “More milk please mommy.”  “Rub my head mommy.”  Well, tonight was a new one.  You called to us because you had to go potty.  Daddy took you and after you went potty, you ran to the living room to tell me the great news.  We said goodnight – again – and on your way back to bed, you hit your shoulder on the hallway gate.  Not to minimize your pain, but man up, it was nothing.  Apparently not because you started to “fake cry” and said, and I quote, “we need to go to the doctor.”  It wasn’t so much the words that caught me offguard, but moreso the conviction behind those words.  It was as if you realized the kind of time this would buy you.  Instead, I suggested we call the doctor.  Dr. Daddy, that is.  You were okay with that idea.  Here’s how it went:

Me: Hi Dr! Dylan hurt himself.  How should we treat it?

Dr: He did? Oh no! Is he bleeding? No you say? Oh good!  Then three kisses should do the trick.

Dyl: *stunned silence, wide-eyed staring at phone*

Me: *3 kisses* Does that feel better? (no response from Dylan).  Thank you doctor !I think that helped Dylan’s boo-boo.

Dr: No problem! You’re a brave little boy Dylan.  Now it’s time to get you back to bed to rest for a big day of fun with your friends at camp tomorrow.

*hangs up phone*

Dyl: It still hurts, I want to call the doctor again.

Me: Okay, let’s see if he has any other ideas and then we’re going night-night.

Dyl: Okay.

Dr: Hello? Dylan? Is everything okay.

Dyl: *silent shock again*

Me: Doctor, dylan said it still hurts.  Anything else we can do to help him feel better?

Dr: Try 5 hugs.  That should do it.

Me: *after 5 hugs* Dylan do you feel better? *small smile, but not talking*  Okay, goodnight doctor.  Thank you for all your help.

Dr: Goodnight Dylan and Dylan’s mommy. *hangs up*

Dyl: Mommy, call doctor back, I want to tell him something.

Me: Really fast? And then bed?

Dyl: Really fast and then night night.

Me: Okay. *calls doctor*

Dr: Hello? Dylan?

Dyl: Doctor! I went pee-pee in the potty!  Baby scratched me and doggy tried to bite me on the couch and I told her no, I don’t like that.  Good night.

…Looks like we might be calling the doctor every night from here on out.

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