Leaving the “Little”

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Dear Babram,

In 3 months, you will be 2!  In less than 5 months you will be a 2-year-old big brother!!  Now, I like change and it’s been fun watching you get a little “bigger” everyday and take on the world.  But, i’m not ready to call you a “BIG” brother when you are still my “LITTLE” boy.  This is happening a little too fast for me.  The best way I cope is to plan.  Okay, over-plan.  Okay, okay, okay – obsessively compulsively plan.  Happy?

Here’s how my mind works –

  1. First thought: We are going to have another child and need to plan out our care options.
  2. Second thought: We love the set-up you have now.  We love that you have time with your grandparents. We love Jodi. We love that you share the week with your friend and we love their family.  We don’t want to lose any of that.
  3. Third thought: We need to add a new player to the care set-up roster because with another baby we fear that you won’t get the attention you need to grow and thrive.
  4. Fourth thought: We need to look at pre-school options.
  5. Fifth thought: There is no thinking, only crying and wondering where the time went.
  6. Sixth thought: It’s March/April and they have already started enrolling for August.
  7. Seventh thought: No problem, we don’t want you to start until November/December anyways – plenty of time!
  8. Eighth thought: The first school I called said they were fully enrolled with siblings from current older students.
  9. Ninth thought: Oh my gosh, am I behind!?!?
  10. Tenth thought: OH MY GOSH, I’M BEHIND!!!!!10313836_10103300028343566_1380676361646325135_n

Okay, so thought 10 was a fluke – we’re not behind.  But to be fair, I would have felt behind if they had said they were 10% full.

After researching 9 and physically touring 7 – we found our new team player – a winning pre-school!  I thought it would be a hard decision.  It wasn’t.  Throughout the process, we were very torn on whether or not to send you to a Jewish pre-school or to a regular pre-school.  We would visit a Jewish pre-school and fall 98% in love with it.  Then, we’d visit a regular pre-school and fall 98% in love with it.  Both were close to perfect but there was a tiny bit of doubt, wondering if it was truly the right one for YOU.  Then we found it.  We loved that they put an emphasis on learn through play, outdoor play, soft structure, teaching compassion and lifestyle lessons and the feasibility for our family (price, hours and location).  The last step was to see if you liked it.  So, on the day I dropped off the enrollment check, you and Gammy came with me.  You were very curious about everything and everyone.

It’s comforting and easier to let you get older seeing how ready you are to get older.  A little too ready actually.  When it was time to leave, we were both crying.  You, because you didn’t want to leave…but knew you had to.  Me, because I didn’t want to “leave”…but knew I had to.

 

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