Lock the door and throw away the key. I’m a lifer. My crime – I think my child is perfect. Guilty as charged! People will probably say, “oh that Karen thinks her son is god’s gift to the world” and as a matter of fact, I do! “Oh that Karen is so obnoxious the way she talks about perfect Dylan this and perfect Dylan that” – Guilty, guilty, guilty – you can just call me good ol’ obnoxious Karen from now on if you like because i’m not stopping.
Dylan – There isn’t a thing I would change about you. Sorry lil man, but you have a mommy who is going to gush at every milestone, single-handedly keep shutterfly in business with the amount of pictures she takes and keep your cheeks rosy with the lipstick that brushes off from the dozens of kisses she give you.