No Group B Moms Allowed!

In my 3 3/4 month experience, I’ve learned that there are 2 groups of moms out there.  I’ve been very fortunate enough to find a great group of mommy friends from the Group A bucket.  We’ve shared weekly highlights, baby firsts, funny stories, struggling stories and sugary treats together.  Back up, you say?  What’s a Group A mom, you say?  It’s very easy to tell the difference between a Group A mom and a Group B mom.  For instance, after saying, “my 4 month old slept 10 hours last night” each mom will respond slightly differently, ultimately categorizing themselves into 1 of said 2 groups.

  • Group A: “That’s great!  And only 4 months – way to go little man!”
  • Group B: “For now”

Why so cynical Group B mom?  Did you forget how hard it is those first few months?  How the tiniest of wins feels ginormously amazing?  Whatever the reason, I don’t like your style.  Nope, not one bit!   You couldn’t possibly think you’re telling us something we don’t know.  Us Group A mom’s aren’t naiive enough to think that once you hit 10 hours means you’ll never have a 3 hour night again.  But why call it out?

It’s sometimes hard to spot a Group B mom.  They also tend to hide behind the following phrases –

  • “Sleeping 10 hours? That will change in about 2 months.”
  • “Isn’t fussy? Wait until he starts teething.”
  • “Just rolled over for the first time?  Time to babyproof and kiss your clean house goodbye.”
  • “Better eye traction? Cancel Showtime, don’t want baby watching Dexter now do we.”
  • “Started mimicking your sounds?  Time to put Disney Radio on and KROQ off.”

And, of course,  a dead giveaway statement from a Group B mom – “just wait.”

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